Receiving a cancer diagnosis can turn your world upside down.
Alongside the medical appointments, scans, treatments and uncertainty, there is often something else that can become equally exhausting: the stories we tell ourselves.
As someone who has dealt with life's toughest challenges, I know how easy it is to carry beliefs that make an already difficult journey even harder.
Many of these beliefs come from well-meaning friends, social media, outdated advice or the pressure we place upon ourselves.
If you are currently navigating cancer treatment, here are five things I believe every woman needs to stop believing right now.
1. “I Have to Stay Positive All the Time”
One of the biggest myths around cancer is that you have to remain positive at all times. Do you have any idea how exhausting that is? Cancer is terrifying. You will feel overwhelmed and often very emotional. Some days you will definitely feel strong and positive, but there will also be days when you will be exhausted, angry with everything, and feel like you cannot deal with it. That is the hard reality.
You don't need to pretend you are having a strong day when you're actually quite the opposite. Allow yourself to be congruent with your feelings. Be angry, be sad, if that is how you feel. It is not healthy to keep those feelings inside. You're not being weak, allowing yourself to experience genuine emotions; it is part of being human.
2. “I Caused This”
Many women spend countless hours looking back, wondering if they could have prevented their diagnosis. The truth is that cancer is incredibly complex. Blaming yourself serves no purpose and only adds unnecessary emotional pain.
Cancer is not a punishment or a sign of failure.
3. "I Should Be Handling This Better"
There is no gold standard for how you should be dealing with cancer. You are already dealing with more than most could imagine.
4. “I Am a Burden”
Many women spend years caring for others. I know asking for help can feel uncomfortable, but the people around you genuinely care and want to make things easier and support you.
5. “Everyone Else Is Stronger Than Me”
It's easy to look around and believe that everyone else seems to be coping better. But what we see on the outside rarely tells the full story. Strength is not the absence of vulnerability. Strength is continuing despite vulnerability.
Let Go of What Is No Longer Serving You
Cancer treatment asks a lot of you physically, emotionally and mentally. The last thing you need is the additional weight of beliefs that increase guilt, shame or self-criticism. You are already carrying enough.
A Personal Reflection
Looking back on my own cancer journey, I realise how much energy I spent trying to be strong for everyone else. Real strength is allowing yourself to be supported, to be vulnerable and to keep moving forward one day at a time.
Navigating Breast Cancer with Jane Kellett
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